Monday, June 19, 2012, 4:15pm GMT, on board Royal Air Maroc Flight AT800, Casablanca to London.
In this moment, I feel every emotion. On my flight back from my last continent, two weeks from going home; a chapter of my life is truly closing and a new one opening. After this so much will be different. I am different. I even see my mom in a new, and I think healthy way. I see myself in a new way. I am proud of my life from 17, when I feel like this chapter started, to (soon to be) 34 when it is ending and a new one beginning. One where I have bathed in the water and fire of trial and redemption, of getting everything I ever wanted and then figuring out whats truly important; figuring out what life is made of, and what I am made of. I am scared and happy and in my heart, still. I feel like I am living in the space between heart beats. Before the storm finds me again. I have made every continent, I have lived abroad, and in the next chapter I will finally have an advanced degree and hopefully a husband! In some ways I am anxious to get home. Well actually for the first time since January I really want to go home, and stay there. I’ll miss England for sure (although not this pants summer). But more than anything, I miss my friends. This trip to Morocco reminded me how much. It reminded me of India and the difference was great company (And a large man didn’t hurt with the harassment I’m sure). And for the first time I’ve accepted myself as an extrovert. I can’t do my entire life alone. I don’t mind being alone, but I love my full life at home. Friends who know me and love me anyways, who are my true sisters . Sorors who fulfill the extrovert part of me, who make me laugh and give me purpose. A great family who even though they aren’t as much like me as I once thought are still awesome; and we laugh like crazy people. I think what I’ve missed the most about my life full of people is the laughing. The gut wrenching, stomach ache, sore muscle making laugh. I can’t wait to get home and laugh till I cry. I missed you all very much. And while I wouldn’t trade these past six months for anything, trust that I’ll never leave you again.